I’ve had a tremendous last few days. I’m back up in Idaho for a bit of a conference and training. The training involved three other guys who are youth pastors at large churches around the northwest, though i'm the unoffocial youth guy at a church that has a teen population of zero. Crazy enough I’ve found myself being in community with them, learning, questioning, and experiencing Christian brotherhood like few other times in recent memory. We’ve been watching a conference over a webcast on postmodernism and youth ministry. It’s been awesome.
Our "meetings" have turned out to be more of table fellowship times with too much coffee. We presented some things from the materials we’re working through (BigPictureTraining.org), talked it all over, and worked through some of the media stuff. Somehow in the most unexpected way my soul has been refreshed with a renewed sense of self. Somehow in the fellowship of these few days, in the interaction with 3 guys whom I know a little, and one I just met, I have taken some huge steps in my Christian path. We met with a spiritual director this afternoon, something I’ve never done before. We sat and she led us in silence and contemplation. Here are some things I’m taking home with me:
I’ve worried too long and too much about becoming some sort of person or leader that I’ve seen in others. No matter how long and hard I have or could ever try to be like someone else I’d never succeed. It became clear to me as I sat in silence that I need (and we all need), to become comfortable in my own skin and quit trying to become in imitation of someone else. Don’t get me wrong I admire and look up to many people, but for me to fully be embraced by God and to develop into the person he made me to be I need to be just that: me. That goes for everyone, doesn’t it? The Kingdom doesn’t need imitations, but authentic people becoming who they were created to be. The image of God is the only imitation to be sought.
The ministry of the Kingdom is everywhere, not needing the approval of the church or church leaders in any way. So much of my worry is caught up in the fact that I’m not on staff somewhere betting paid full time to be a pastor. Sure it would be nice but it’s not my reality. I believe more and more that the opportunities I’ve had to work outside the church have shaped my faith and worldview as much if not more than my time within as a paid pastor. I hope I’m not just saying this to rationalize to being in full time church ministry, because I’d like to get back there, but I’m so thankful for the time I’ve had in new settings so different from my own. The opportunity I have in our new place and ministry has put two great things together for us: The ministry of the church and the ministry of being in a school. It’s a real tension that we’re learning to live in and still have a long way to go, but this is truly a unique time where I believe life has much to offer in the way of learning. Each day is a new journey of finding who I am in new ways while being stretched in my job and my job. I get paid for only one of them, but both are of equal importance. What an interesting time, I wonder what it will look like to reflect on these days where we’re being shaped so dramatically and on such a fast pace.
So much to look forward to. So many questions and apprehensions, but I’m leaving Idaho this time with a renewed sense of calling and peace within. This has been a time where shalom has truly been experienced. Not just a shalom/peace, but shalom/restoration.
I wish this for everyone. that we could experience more of God's shalom/peace/restoration in places of our lives where it's looked more like chaos. I has for me.
Sep 22, 2007
Sep 9, 2007
our nomadic tendencies
in recent days we have again shifted our location. we have returned to northern colorado in a move that came about in a surprising and strange way. in mid july i ran into an old friend of mine who is the lead pastor at the ft. collins nazarene church. we knew each other from working one summer together at golden bell camp during college. he's an amazing guy and a tremendous pastor. our paths crossed at the colorado district assembly and conversation hovered around his ministry and our mutual love for the city and people. as we talked he brought up the idea of going up there and joining up with him there. i thought it was a nice idea but didn't think it was very realistic.
sherry has having little to no luck finding a job in divide, so out of curiousity she applied for teaching jobs in ft. collins and loveland. she was offered one the next day, which seemed pretty amazing. over the next few weeks i emailed and talked to andy (the pastor in ft. collins) several times. i talked to my boss at camp before going up to visit on weekend and he was super supportive. we attended the church and spent more time with andy and his wife. everything in the process seemed to point us that way, and to sum things up we're now living again up here and enjoying things. sherry's teaching at her old school again, and i got a job at the same place working with ela (english language acquistion) students. i'm getting to work with spanish-speaking students all day, making phone calls home, and learning the language more and more each day. it's exciting and challenging work. my main role is to be a go-between for students/teachers, students/parents, and parents/teachers.
things at church are great. it's a small church of around 40-50 classified as a "refocus" congregation. andy came in for that job and is unbelieveable. he's a tremendous speaker and having the opportunity to come alongside and help him is so cool. i have the chance to still do some stuff with the distict nyi (nazarene youth international) and at school with a new migrant outreach project.
there are still unknowns and uncertainties we're facing, but it just seems like life is like that anyway. we're praying that the church will continue to grow and we can do our part. sherry is working at the school 75% with the understanding and continuted hope that it will increase to 100%. i'm doing my best faking and learning my way with an intermediate spanish background. all these things together have made up our new season of life after a stellar summer up at camp. i'm getting out to play disc golf as much as i can, but we don't have a sweet 18 hole mountain course across the street anymore. it's ok though. we're keeping up with our daily walks and have found a pretty good route around our neighborhood.
guess that's about it for now. until next time
sherry has having little to no luck finding a job in divide, so out of curiousity she applied for teaching jobs in ft. collins and loveland. she was offered one the next day, which seemed pretty amazing. over the next few weeks i emailed and talked to andy (the pastor in ft. collins) several times. i talked to my boss at camp before going up to visit on weekend and he was super supportive. we attended the church and spent more time with andy and his wife. everything in the process seemed to point us that way, and to sum things up we're now living again up here and enjoying things. sherry's teaching at her old school again, and i got a job at the same place working with ela (english language acquistion) students. i'm getting to work with spanish-speaking students all day, making phone calls home, and learning the language more and more each day. it's exciting and challenging work. my main role is to be a go-between for students/teachers, students/parents, and parents/teachers.
things at church are great. it's a small church of around 40-50 classified as a "refocus" congregation. andy came in for that job and is unbelieveable. he's a tremendous speaker and having the opportunity to come alongside and help him is so cool. i have the chance to still do some stuff with the distict nyi (nazarene youth international) and at school with a new migrant outreach project.
there are still unknowns and uncertainties we're facing, but it just seems like life is like that anyway. we're praying that the church will continue to grow and we can do our part. sherry is working at the school 75% with the understanding and continuted hope that it will increase to 100%. i'm doing my best faking and learning my way with an intermediate spanish background. all these things together have made up our new season of life after a stellar summer up at camp. i'm getting out to play disc golf as much as i can, but we don't have a sweet 18 hole mountain course across the street anymore. it's ok though. we're keeping up with our daily walks and have found a pretty good route around our neighborhood.
guess that's about it for now. until next time
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