kingdom

i've been getting to know the youth minister at our church and we've had a somewhat ongoing conversation that carries over from one time to another. like most everyone else in the world, when we get together (which is infrequently, unfortunately) we talk about the "Kingdom of God" and what the means. it seems we don't know, or at least i don't. the scriptures are a bit vague if you really think about it. when i say kingdom i don't mean heaven, i mean what Jesus was talking about all the time in regards to life on earth and what disciples do in response to God and grace and compassion and mercy... etc.

Jesus mentions (and this is admittedly a lousy proof-text) in Luke 17 that the kingdom of God is "in your midst." this could be taken a few ways i guess, but the way i tend to go with it (or at least right now) is that the kingdom is not some far away, post-earth heavenly existance, but the reality of the way of Jesus and how it is realized in the here and now. the kingdom is not of this earth, not shaped by our perceived rules of kingdom-ness, but in fact the occasions or occurances when Jesus is present and His real way of truth, justice, righteousness is realized in full-effect.

sometimes i think i get it wrong when i put my blinders to where the kingdom is showing up. i am trying to get away from the thought that the kingdom will only come when all things are said and done and we live in perfect peace forever and ever and ever. that is a pretty cool kingdom, but not what Jesus was always talking about (in my interpretation). in talking with my friend the youth pastor (super youth pastor, in fact) about my job with the juvenile-criminal-social outcast types we wondered a few things: i always had this perception that a "pastor" or "minister" had to be under the payroll of a church with a building (slight bit of scarcasm included). but is what this boys home does just as much kingdom work as what the church does? i think so... but with some further explanation needed.

i don't think the mainstream northamerican church does a good job with the balance of spirituality and the Biblical call to social and relational justice. i don't do a good job, either. has the church spent to much time and energy preserving the institution of church and not doing the work of the gospel/the kingdom? i would argue this point to be true. the church has taken the role of spiritual leadership in people's lives but in large part missed the just as important realilty of the social gospel. read the old testament and try to find a prophetic voice not calling the people to plead the case of the orphan, the widow, the alien, the sojourner in your midst!

back to my point about my job in a nonprofit agency working with teen boys from juvenile corrections and health and welfare. i will be the first to say that i don't think government agencies are the answer. but they are a start. the agency i work for does a lot of good. it's hard and unglamorous work. my friend asked if i thought what they did was "in the kingdom." my reaction is that it is... sometimes. my next thought then is this: is the church in the kingdom? again, sometimes. can a person be in the church and not in the kingdom? i believe so. can a person be out of the church and in the kingdom? i believe so. it's a strange dynamic and paradox that i have no answer for, just questions.

i've started to pray that i would have times when i would be able to see the kingdom when it is realized. sometimes i think it's just moments. other times i think it's an ongoing occasion. other times i don't have a clue.

help me

i've grown tired of the usual blog looks and admire those of you out there who can make their own and do cool stuff with it. i've made a few breakthroughs and some changes but i'm not sure how to use the skins that are all over the place and combine it with the cool stuff that the newer version of blogger had (links, side pictures...). if anyone knows anything or could throw me a bone that would be awesome.

gracias. hope all are well

a bit of news

one of my best friends recently was hired as the program director at a camp that we've both worked at in the past called golden bell in divide, co. over the past few weeks we've been talking and i'm grateful for the opportunity to go back to camp and work under him. he's going to do a stellar job leading the summer staff and camps, and i'll be working as the guy who sort of heads up the adventure programming sorts of things revolving around ropes, hiking and what not. my wife and i are so pumped to get going back to colorado to be part of something we believe in and work with some great friends. the dream is to develope over the next few summers a wilderness program that could be all summer long. as of now there are only two adventure camps planned each summer. hopefully we can build that up. i'm excited to have the chance to preach every now and again and to work with the summer staff that will be there.

i'm eager to get started...

Blue-er Like Jazz

I can't say enough about this book. In past posts I've given Donald Miller some shout outs but I feel the need to do it again. I want to go out and get everything he's written. I work until midnight three nights a week at the group home and so it gives me time to read since the guys go to bed at 9:30. Honestly I have a routine of watching Frasier, two episodes of Seinfeld, and The Tonight Show off and on, but I try to read at the same time. He's been talking about living isolated and living in community and what it sort of does to us. I was struck by it all. The isolated life that I've been living has sort of caused me to invent this world that only my house exists and what happens effects everyone else. I have failed to notice that other people have lives too. Words like self-centered come to mind. Christians aren't intended to live in this sort of way. Even monastics in ascetic practices don't experience solitude for the sake of solitude (well, some do I guess). We need people. We need community. I need people. I need community.

I've not been to church for a few weeks now. Our kids are sick so we've been marooned at the house for a few weeks but it has made me think about living isolated. During college I was a depressed wreck and don't imagine I was much fun to be around. I think I felt like I was on this one man search to find myself. It felt like nobody else understood who I was and what I was trying to figure out. I had to be the only person who ever really felt like I had something about myself I had to figure out. It was at this time I became a believer and somewhat a disciple of St. Francis of Assisi. We watched this old 70's movie called Brother Sun, Sister Moon about him in a class and it sent me into a frenzy to read every letter of every book about him. I believe like so many others that few people in the world have truly captured the message and life of Christ like Francis did. I became I person who wanted to live in such a way, or try to find a way to do it in the context of our culture. But I think for some time I missed the truth of his and Jesus' message about soliltude. Solitude is important, but it does not replace community.

My funk and depressed state began to transform when I saw the reality that God made us to live among each other and not alone. Sure we need time for personal prayer, meditation, and contemplation, but it is intended for the sake of who we are made real in the Body of Christ. When I began to see Jesus lived that way, and Francis lived and did everything with his order my whole world began to change. I think I forgot this in recent days. There's a lot of people out there with kids trying to find out how to serve God while being a parent with sick kids and not having a clue what to do. I'm not solo. Francis never tried to go about his life solo. Jesus didn't either.

No creative title comes to mind

I've very much lost motivation to write anything on here over the last few weeks. We had a good Christmas with both my wife and my families. Her family few us down to meet them in Arkansas (yep, Arkansas) and we spent a few days down there. They're not from Arkansas but it was designated the family meeting spot this year. I was pleasantly surprised about how it was down there. It seemed to me much like eastern Oklahoma and southeast Kansas. I guess this is because it's the same area of the country and it touches those two locations. Duh. I must say that one of my favorite things in my life is spending time with Sherry's family. They are so awesome and I look forward to it so much. Her brother and sister in law are so much fun to be with and I hope one day we can live closer. He lived with us one summer working with me at church and it was such a blast.

Not sure where to go with my thoughts today. Sherry wrote a list of great things (Franklin Avenue, see link) that happened in 2006 and for the most part I'd have to say ditto to it all. We were sitting and talking as we do so much and it really hit us that we'd like to forget this past year for the most part. There were some great times for sure and it'd be sin not to remember them fondly, but it just seems like for the most part I hope that 2007 brings better times. Better times, or at least the spiritual growth needed to handle things better and more positively. Maybe that's a better way to look at it.

If I had a resolution it would be to keep growing and taking steps forward. I see the danger in myself of comparing my life, talents, circumstances, and lot with others. This is a dangerous trend for me. The Lord has really been challenging me to simply be me and to let other people be other people. I want to embrace who I am in it's fullness and let God do what He wants with it. Whatever that is and looks like has got to be far better than trying to imitate the successes of others and thinking that what they do is the only route to obedience and happiness. It's not. My head knows that but my heart needs to embrace it.

Another resolution is to stop eating Little Caesar's pizza. We got one last night and I'm still feeling the effects. Sure they're cheap and taste like a slice of golden heaven, but it tore me up. No good at all.

My brother in law got me a cd by a band called Leeland. It's good. They're good.

That's all I can muster today. Hope that everyone is doing well.