31. October 2006

I whisper,"You don't have to worry, we'll survive"
Forced smiles underneath the brittle, frozen light
No proof that you're alive
Cold fingers find the curve below your tired eyes
No comfort in familiar places, not this time
You hold it deep inside

Oh sister, if you wake up in the night
Walls are falling, letting in the light
No need to worry
Baby, even angels cry

No flood warnings, still the waters rise
Flowers through asphalt, Diamonds in the pockets of your eyes
Turn your face and hide

I saw a woman with ribbons in her hair
Old and lonely, so beautiful I had to stop and stare
The well will not run dry

Oh sister, if you wake up in the night
Walls are falling, letting in the light
No need to worry
Baby, even angels cry

Oh sister, if you wake up in the night
Walls are falling, letting in the light
No need to worry
Baby, even angels cry

Cry Sister, if you wake up in the night
Walls are falling, letting in the light
It'll be alright
Baby, even angels cry

Baby, please don't worry
Not tonight

Even Angels Cry (Jars of Clay, Good Monsters)

Cleanup

Yesterday I went out to the back yard to do my job of ridding the grass of dog crap. This is a job that I neglect pretty well, so when I get out there it can take a few minutes. We have two dogs, one is a little bigger and the other medium sized. No matter their size, they can poo like champs. So when I only get out there every week or so it really adds up. My preferred method of cleanup is to take one of those cardboard 12 packs of Cherry Pepsi, cut out the top, and scoop it all in with a small garden shovel. As I was walking back and forth in the yard looking for piles, it struck me how much of my life now deals with the waste of my kids and dogs. Silas' diapers are changed every few minutes, or at least it seems that way, and Brek is still doing her job as well as ever. So I figure I'm getting pretty good at it. It's not even that gross anymore. Well, sometimes, but there's nothing you can do about it. So when are you supposed to start potty training, anyway? I'm game.

I guess it makes me apprecaite plumbing. It also makes me miss working at camp because you could just take care of business at the convenience of the nearest tree or bush.

Silas

Here are the first pictures of our new baby. He was born a few days ago weighing 6lbs, 15oz. Sherry did an amazing job throughout labor and I'm so proud of her. We went in pretty early in the morning and he came pretty close to noontime. I don't think it has really sunk in yet, but soon will I'm sure. We're home and all are doing well.

Vomit

Sometimes I wonder about throwing up and all its intricate details. Why are some people pukers and some aren't? I come from a good puking family. When we're sick, we puke, and we puke a lot. My sister is perhaps the best, because she's had two kids and with that came a lot more experience around the porcelain. Why is it that other people don't puke so much? I always just thought it was a natural part of life. But as I've learned there's a lot of folks out there who are deathly afraid to throw up and will avoid it at all costs. My wife is one of these people. In the 6 years we've known each other she has thrown up one time. She claims that has been the only time since she was very young that she has thrown up. After we were married the first time I got sick I asked her to get me a puke bucket for next to the bed and she thought I was kidding. "Puke bucket? What's that?" is what she said. A good puke bucket was standard issue being sick gear around my house.

Why though? What's to fear? I always feel so much better afterwards, it gives you a good half hour window of feeling really nice before the flu or whatever sets back in. Puking isn't the problem, puking is the answer for your body trying to get rid of the problem, isn't it? My daughter is one year old and already a puker. She's just like me, she throws up and then is super pleasant afterwards. I really don't like it when she pukes or is sick, but she has already shown herself to be from my side of the family with this issue for sure. I can remember at camp a few years ago the theme was "Fear Factor" and the teens had to do some crazy stuff. One game involved eating some stuff that I personally would not even touch and didn't really comfortable about my students ingesting. One of my senior high guys ate it all down, impressing all the chicks and winning the game. Shortly afterwards I went out in the woods with him and made him throw it all up because I thought he'd get sick. He wasn't a puker so really struggled with it. I could have thrown up for him just by watching. Gross.

Random entry, yes. Thought provoking, for sure.

Night Shifting

So the night shift guy here called about an hour before he was supposted to come in and is sick so i'm taking this opportunity to do my first night shift. I've been here since 1 in the afternoon and will be here until 6am. It's no big deal though, I figure I'll be taking a few days off when the baby comes so this is a good way to help some other guys out because they'll be covering my back soon enough. Everyone is in bed so hopefully it will be a quiet night. Knock on wood. Every now and again someone will come out to go to the bathroom or something, but other than that it's just going to be checking the rooms every half hour, reading, or watching TV until morning. Not too bad.

Sherry is due pretty much any time, which is the only bad thing running though my head. I don't really want to have the experience of sprinting out of here in the middle of the night, but if so it'll be alright. We're pretty ready, or I should say she is pretty ready for the boy to come. I'm getting anxious for the experience of watching him come into the world. I have the easy part, Sherry's probably not as eager for that phase of the process to come about. So I guess I'll just settle in for the evening. Jay Leno and Conan will be my companions, followed by a movie from the house library perhaps.

the best

there's nothing better than this. we went to the zoo today with brek and she loved it. i think i loved it more, though. the animals were cool, but walking around with her on my shoulders was the best. i always looked at little kids and parents walking around and thought that it was a world that i wasn't all that eager to be part of. but now i can't think of anything i like more than when she rides on my shoulders and plays with my hair and ears. i think about when the next one comes and what it will be like to have a son. in some strange way i'm really looking forward to the challenge of it all. the sleepless nights when kids are puking or crying seem to fade away in my memory as compared to days like today. there's so much i want to do in this life: places to go, things to do, goals... but on a day like today i feel like i've got it all. walking around the zoo with the family is pretty sweet. i can get used to this. i know that when they get older things will be different and i think that's why i want to have her ride on my shoulders and carry her as much as possible. it's only been a year and a half, but i can already see that these days will be short and she won't always want me to carry her. so in the mean time i'll pass on the stroller and carry her as long as my shoulders and arms can take it.

Confession

This is a public confession and apology to the little girl who now doesn't have a cat anymore. Driving home tonight a cat looking much like this one dashed out in front of our car and I 100% crushed it. There was no chance of avoiding the confrontation, I didn't even see the thing until it was right by my left front tire & headlight. So for what it's worth, I'm sorry.

But this thing was HUGE!!!! It seriously shook the car! It all happened so fast, it was crazy. I've never liked cats really that much, in fact I'm deathly alergic to them, so I don't really feel that bad. I'm not out to kill cats, but there was no avoiding it tonight.

Man, that cat was big. If it had nine lives, it used up every one of them with it's collision with a subaru. May God and St. Francis have mercy on my soul.