Please do not judge my parenting by this post

Most of what I learn about God in all honesty doesn't come from the scriptures as it maybe should, but instead from my three year old daughter.  Being a dad has opened my eyes in a completely new way to see God in a new light, as I hear it does for most dads.  

When Brek was a still a baby she often had a difficult time going to sleep, mainly in the daytime for naps.  I got to be home a few days a week with her and so the only way I could get her to sleep was to lay her in our bed and to fall asleep or to pretend to fall asleep next to her.  She would get herself so worked up that it was super hard to get her to relax and go to sleep.  So I would lay down, put my arm under her and take very deep and long breaths so she could hear me and feel me breathing.  She'd be crying or screaming and I would just lay down next to her and basically demonstrate sleeping.  Sometimes I would lay there just breathing and closing my eyes pretending to sleep for like a half hour or more.  Eventually she would match her rhythm of breathing with mine and calm down, and soon after be asleep.  Shortly after I would try to sneak out and hope she didn't hear me.  I did this all the time, it was the only way to get her to sleep. 

I bring this up because now over three years later she's doing a similar thing.  At night she completely refuses to go to bed or to even go near her room.  She begs to sleep in our room, so we let her fall asleep in our bed.  She begs for one of us, usually me oddly enough, to lay down with her.  Just tonight she was so tired but fighting sleep so much that I just had to lay there like I used to, pretending to sleep despite her rants and complaints.  I was just laying there, breathing deeply and overly loud to prove my point that sleeping is a wonderful thing and that she should just calm down.  

But then all these thoughts came into my head like how much like Brek I must be to God.  All the time I just go about my stuff pretending to know what I'm doing but all along God is just sitting there wanting me to just be able to listen long enough to hear the rhythm of His breathing and to simply get in line with it.  The beauty of the incarnation, and the part about God that I've learned most through my kids, is that God doesn't just put us in our bed and tell us to go to sleep, even though we're kicking and screaming.  No, for some reason He decided to come and lay down next to us and show us what it looks like to follow Him.  He showed us what sleeping looks like, and simply asks us to follow His lead.  Stop talking about wanting our mommy, or to read the book for the 17th time, or to get more juice, or that we need another snack.  What He really seems to want is for us to drop the excuses and simply be like Him.  For crying out loud He's right next to us, we just need to let our breathing become like His.  We just need to follow His lead.  

Sometimes I think I make it harder and more complicated than it needs to be.

Burfoot Park & Beach

Here's some pictures of our evening at the beach & on a trail outside of the city a bit.  It was pretty sweet.  The kids loved the shells & rocks & water. 

The View from Here

We've arrived at our new home and new season of life here in Washington. This move out here was much more eventful than expected, but all has turned out well. If you want to hear a detailed explanation, check out Sherry's post, she can describe it all much better than I.

Everything about where we're at is so much different than I've ever experienced. Everything. And I love it. This really is a time of growing up for us. Despite all the moving around we've done in the past few years, this is our first time being in a place where we don't know anyone and have some familiarity with the place. Olympia is really a beautiful city, so green and so many trees. Our back yard is surrounded by massive evergreens and everywhere you go there are new streets and developments I haven't noticed because of all the trees. I have always prided myself on being a Coloradoan, but now really do realize that there is beauty all around. We're very close to the Puget Sound, which is way different for me as well. A body of water that big with boats all over the place and a pier is nothing I've ever really seen besides in short visits. I'm just trying to take it all in, and enjoying every minute.

Church has been amazing. Everyone is so nice and overwhelmingly helpful and generous. We had the truck unloaded in 45 minutes, and I returned it a full day early. Amazing. There are some stellar guys that I've got to know already. I also went to the Sunday night high school gathering and it was great, too. The students are amazing and I'm so eager to get to know them better. I feel like God has some great things in store, and it's time for me to step out of all norms and comfort zones and experience Him and His Kingdom in ways I've never dreamed. This new life is truly new and I am so excited to see what happens, for the good and the bad.

There are moments when I find myself missing friends and family back home, but I think that's ok. There will always be that spot in my soul where I wish could see them like I did before. I was reading my sister Amanda's blog and would echo a lot of her comments about being obedient and faithful to God's call, even when it might be tough. I'm so excited about this new adventure and all it will entail. I know there will be times of loneliness, but I'm believing He wants us here and will use us for His Kingdom. I feel confident that the great people we've already met will become close friends, and am looking forward to each and every dinner and cup of coffee with new people. God's people are all around, it's great to experience new relationships, and to have my little bubble burst and world view expanded. I feel blessed as I write this, undeserving of God's grace and provision. This has been a week like few I've been through, with very high highs, and very low lows. Through this I have resolved to give Him the glory and praise for both the tears of joy and pain. God truly is good. I feel grateful to be His servant and child.