My Little Man

silas turned one last week. i haven't really thought about it all that much until a few days ago when i spent the day at my parent's house painting the kitchen cupboards. i had the day off work and my dad said i could do some work for him. i went over and began the process of painting the cupboards an off-white color. it took me about 6 hours to do the job, but the time flew by. i have painted those same cupboards that same basic color probably 3 or 4 times in my life. it always felt like such a huge job, but this time it seemed like a joy. as i worked my way around the kitchen, painting the doors and inside frame i could see the strokes i made the times before. it has been probably 5 years since i last did it, but i vividly remember all the small mess-ups i hoped my parents and others wouldn't see. i like to think i'm a decent painter, but here and there are smudges in the cupboards and outside on the walls. i remember making those errant strokes and not catching them in time to try to wipe them up. anyway... throughout the whole time i couldn't help but think about my dad. he knew the job i'd done the times before, but somehow it just became clear to me that those times before i thought i'd painted so well it really wasn't about just having me paint the cupboards, it was about my dad giving me the chance to learn. i thought about how many times he didn't just sit down with me and tell me about life and how to live it. i watched him and that's how he taught me. i remember my "lawn mowing business" in high school when he continually helped me when the truck died, or helped me dump grass at the recycling place. i remember how i lost the church trimmer (still not sure how) and he didn't lecture me about how stupid it was for me to be so irresponsible, i just knew it and i knew i had to pay it back. i remember coming back in the dead of winter from a high school basketball game and leaving the truck's lights on the whole time only to have my dad wake up and give me a jump to get home. that happened numerous times. i remember ruining a lawnmower and unsuccessfully trying to fix it on my own so he wouldn't notice. he didn't chew me out, but let me learn what it means to make things right when i screw up. my dad has always been so patient with me. my dad has always been so supportive of me.

as my son turns one, i want to live in a way that shows him what it looks like walk with Christ and show Him to other people through the way i live. i hope i'm patient with him when he ruins a lawnmower or loses a trimmer somehow. i hope i have a good attitude when he locks his keys in the car or leaves the lights on in the middle of winter and i've already gone to bed. i'll let him paint the kitchen when he's 27 and needs a extra job to do, too.