Blue-er Like Jazz

I can't say enough about this book. In past posts I've given Donald Miller some shout outs but I feel the need to do it again. I want to go out and get everything he's written. I work until midnight three nights a week at the group home and so it gives me time to read since the guys go to bed at 9:30. Honestly I have a routine of watching Frasier, two episodes of Seinfeld, and The Tonight Show off and on, but I try to read at the same time. He's been talking about living isolated and living in community and what it sort of does to us. I was struck by it all. The isolated life that I've been living has sort of caused me to invent this world that only my house exists and what happens effects everyone else. I have failed to notice that other people have lives too. Words like self-centered come to mind. Christians aren't intended to live in this sort of way. Even monastics in ascetic practices don't experience solitude for the sake of solitude (well, some do I guess). We need people. We need community. I need people. I need community.

I've not been to church for a few weeks now. Our kids are sick so we've been marooned at the house for a few weeks but it has made me think about living isolated. During college I was a depressed wreck and don't imagine I was much fun to be around. I think I felt like I was on this one man search to find myself. It felt like nobody else understood who I was and what I was trying to figure out. I had to be the only person who ever really felt like I had something about myself I had to figure out. It was at this time I became a believer and somewhat a disciple of St. Francis of Assisi. We watched this old 70's movie called Brother Sun, Sister Moon about him in a class and it sent me into a frenzy to read every letter of every book about him. I believe like so many others that few people in the world have truly captured the message and life of Christ like Francis did. I became I person who wanted to live in such a way, or try to find a way to do it in the context of our culture. But I think for some time I missed the truth of his and Jesus' message about soliltude. Solitude is important, but it does not replace community.

My funk and depressed state began to transform when I saw the reality that God made us to live among each other and not alone. Sure we need time for personal prayer, meditation, and contemplation, but it is intended for the sake of who we are made real in the Body of Christ. When I began to see Jesus lived that way, and Francis lived and did everything with his order my whole world began to change. I think I forgot this in recent days. There's a lot of people out there with kids trying to find out how to serve God while being a parent with sick kids and not having a clue what to do. I'm not solo. Francis never tried to go about his life solo. Jesus didn't either.