Lead or Led

This weekend I was challenged about my state of faith in God. I'm a minister, not currently officially in any real way with an organized church body but it is who I am. Or who I try to be. Or am called? With this comes often times in my life this notion that somehow I shouldn't need help from others. What a load. I need help just as much if not more than anyone else. In our move from Colorado to Idaho & uncertainty the reality of needing to rely on God for pretty much everything has really started to set in.

We've worshipped at Boise First Church of the Nazarene the last few weeks and have really become comfortable and desiring to get plugged in and serve there. The pastor whom I have not met and honestly do not know his name said something though that has stuck with me. He was talking about as Christians so often we get caught up in defending Christ, making it our mission to in a way own Him, and use God for our life. But where is this ever asked of us? All we're asked to do is follow and serve. God is not mine to use or defend or try to mold into what I need. I need to simply follow and allow Christ to lead my life.

I don't have a clue as to what or where God is leading. I've never felt so lost before. But I'm starting to see that perhaps that's not that bad of a thing.

I guess I'd rather be led by God than lead Him. I wasn't doing a very good job at it anyway.